Many years ago I gave my grandmother a legacy journal. It was filled with questions about her life from childhood to early adulthood, and onto things like marriage, children, work, faith, and life stories. Before my grandmother passed away she gave me the completed journal.
One question and one answer has stuck with me.
"What is the most difficult thing a mother has to do?"
"Disciplining her children." she wrote.
As mothers, we were created to nurture. Our hands want to touch, hold, and heal. Our bodies groan, long, and exist to produce nourishment for our children. We cheer loudly with our mouths. We see beauty in every milestone.
But we also have a disease. I think I'll call it the ugly mom disease.
It's contagious and can spread rapidly if not treated. Here's the thing, we are all carriers. The sediment of our own upbringing coupled with the other parents expectations can create this brewing combination of angst, insecurity, and confusion...all under the banner of raising up our children.
The other night, I contracted the disease. Spurred on by some children who had transformed before my eyes into a pair of ugly monsters. Their ugliness fed my ugliness. I reacted. Overreacted. When it was all over, the little monsters reclaimed their beauty, the ugliness had been folded up and neatly tucked away, and the bread of forgiveness shared. But late that night, I wept.
I wept because I hate the ugly mom disease. I want to be healed.
{Thoughts on Treatment}
A dose of God's word brings clarity.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed...
...beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be
praised." proverbs 31:25-30
I want to fear the Lord. If not, whom shall I fear but me, myself, and my ugliness.
A teaspoon of mother-to-mother friendship.
Last night a friend stopped over at my house. The moment she got out of her car I saw it, that look, the look of weariness produced in the aftermath of an ugly crisis. We talked and consoled each other. Sometimes all we need, mother-to-mother, is a solid affirmation to hold on.
Grandma was right. This thing called discipline is the ultimate tough stuff. I swallow her hallowed words with a smile, knowing I am not pioneering this journey that others traveled before me.
Prescribe to making things new.
For me, I made a vow. A slight promise, a written order upon my heart and mind, that I would make things new. Attempt to change for the benefit of my whole being. Am I aiming for perfection? Nope. I'm realistic. I am human.
I do however (greatly) consider how I wish to be remembered by my children. That light at the end of the tunnel is my focus. My hope is to overcome the disease. To survive and thrive in this gift of motherhood.
What are your thoughts on treatment?
Friday, May 17, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
A single mother, singled out because of kid
Three years ago World Vision introduced the livestock livelihood project to Sierra Leone communities. During my visit, I learned that the criteria for a family to become a recipient of an animal came down to one word; vulnerability. If a certain family was exposed, proving to be susceptible to injury or attack they would qualify to receive the gift of a bleating kid. A goat.
This is Jenneh, a 35 year old single mother raising 5 boys.
A while back her husband left their village to find work, but he never returned. The financial hardship this created kept her middle child, 13 year old Abu, from going to school. World Vision took action and provided Jenneh and her boys with goats and chickens. Each livestock animal served a different purpose. Unlike other regions where goats are used for their milk, in Sierra Leone more often they are used as a means of currency. For Jenneah, once the pair of goats reproduced (this takes about 6 months) she was able to sell one so that Abu could finally enroll in school.
"For the children to live well in the house, we need chickens and eggs." says Jenneh. In Sierra Leone most families survive off of rice, groundnuts, cassava, or yams. The protein rich eggs give the children and additional advantage with their health.
Abu is a big help to his mother and takes care of the goats by feeding them and making sure they are kept out of other peoples yards. Abu tells us with that infectious smile that one day he would like to become a carpenter.
Later, we asked Rosa the community manager if Jenneh was looked down upon in her village because her husband left her. “Oh no! She is very respected!” Rosa implied.
Many times when weakness or hardship exposes us we find ourselves wanting to run and hide from others. For Jenneh, it was her community that took notice, singled her out, and then stepped in to help turn her circumstances around. In the same way, celebrating and participating in the World Vision sponsored Livestock Music Festival can help to have the same effect on countless others in vulnerable situations worldwide. We all need community- together we have the power to come alongside those in need, giving of our resources, a small token of love and respect.
This is Jenneh, a 35 year old single mother raising 5 boys.
 |
| Jenneh and her son Abu |
A while back her husband left their village to find work, but he never returned. The financial hardship this created kept her middle child, 13 year old Abu, from going to school. World Vision took action and provided Jenneh and her boys with goats and chickens. Each livestock animal served a different purpose. Unlike other regions where goats are used for their milk, in Sierra Leone more often they are used as a means of currency. For Jenneah, once the pair of goats reproduced (this takes about 6 months) she was able to sell one so that Abu could finally enroll in school.
"For the children to live well in the house, we need chickens and eggs." says Jenneh. In Sierra Leone most families survive off of rice, groundnuts, cassava, or yams. The protein rich eggs give the children and additional advantage with their health.
Abu is a big help to his mother and takes care of the goats by feeding them and making sure they are kept out of other peoples yards. Abu tells us with that infectious smile that one day he would like to become a carpenter.
 |
| Abu caring for his family's goat |
Later, we asked Rosa the community manager if Jenneh was looked down upon in her village because her husband left her. “Oh no! She is very respected!” Rosa implied.
Many times when weakness or hardship exposes us we find ourselves wanting to run and hide from others. For Jenneh, it was her community that took notice, singled her out, and then stepped in to help turn her circumstances around. In the same way, celebrating and participating in the World Vision sponsored Livestock Music Festival can help to have the same effect on countless others in vulnerable situations worldwide. We all need community- together we have the power to come alongside those in need, giving of our resources, a small token of love and respect.
 |
| Jill and I at the Lugabo village |
Saturday, May 4, 2013
It's a Small World
This past week my family and I traveled to Arizona for a bizcation (business + vacation). I love how the act of removing yourself from house and home creates this unique space to connect in new ways. The heart becomes cleaner - less cluttered.
During our visit we decided to be brave and visit a local church that I had Googled the night before. When we arrived on Sunday morning we were surprised to run into an old friend from our church in Minnesota. He moved to Arizona a few years ago and we simply lost touch. It was a pleasant surprise to reconnect!
It really is a small world. I'm sure you've experienced it yourself a time or two. The moment where you've left your familiar world behind, traveled a great distance, and run smack dab into someone you know! The feeling this brings is like fireflies to your inmost being, it could be captured in a jar.
This small world experience has happened to me numerous times. Like the time I was climbing Pikes Peak and I stopped to savor the thin air; an older couple stopped too. We made small talk and I discovered, near the summit, that they were from my dad's small town in Minnesota. We connected over the relatives of mine that they had relationships with.
Or how about the time I was in Africa, embedded in the thick bush, visiting a village of people and their goats. A white, grungy American appears out of no where. We talk briefly and I discover that he is working for the Peace Core and has come to this village for respite and socialization. He tells me he is from Colorado. I tell him I was married in Colorado on small ranch south of Estes Park. He asks me which one. I tell him Peaceful Valley Ranch. He smiles wildly and declares that he lived and worked there for many, many years.
It's a small world.
Three beautiful things have recently become clearer to me as I continue to live under the umbrella of this quaint sphere.
Comfort - We crave, long, and yearn for it! Yet, if we never split the cocoon and emerge from it we will never become what we were fully made for. We will remain a worm. Instead, if we leave our dwelling of comfort for just long enough our unstable legs will strengthen, our slippery wings will unfold, and our true self will finally be free to venture to places beyond.
Connection- There is something spiritual about connection. Each time I've had a small world experience an awesomeness overcomes me. It makes my uncertain surroundings feel more wholesome. Complete. I wonder the purposes for connecting with an American man deep in the African bush? Perhaps, it was a small gift offering from the One who see's, who brings things together, who connects.
Community- A people united. Community drives relationship and brings both comfort and connection back into full view. This is why were here. This is the meaning for our lives. Pastor Daniel from the orphanage I visited proclaimed over and over, "We all have different mother but same Father! We all have different mother but same Father!" To me, his words are the truth behind this tiny bubble we live in. Amen.
What would it look like if you stepped out of your world today? Who do you think you'd connect with? Go for it! Split the cocoon and allow the smallness of this world to impact you in a big way!
During our visit we decided to be brave and visit a local church that I had Googled the night before. When we arrived on Sunday morning we were surprised to run into an old friend from our church in Minnesota. He moved to Arizona a few years ago and we simply lost touch. It was a pleasant surprise to reconnect!
It really is a small world. I'm sure you've experienced it yourself a time or two. The moment where you've left your familiar world behind, traveled a great distance, and run smack dab into someone you know! The feeling this brings is like fireflies to your inmost being, it could be captured in a jar.
This small world experience has happened to me numerous times. Like the time I was climbing Pikes Peak and I stopped to savor the thin air; an older couple stopped too. We made small talk and I discovered, near the summit, that they were from my dad's small town in Minnesota. We connected over the relatives of mine that they had relationships with.
Or how about the time I was in Africa, embedded in the thick bush, visiting a village of people and their goats. A white, grungy American appears out of no where. We talk briefly and I discover that he is working for the Peace Core and has come to this village for respite and socialization. He tells me he is from Colorado. I tell him I was married in Colorado on small ranch south of Estes Park. He asks me which one. I tell him Peaceful Valley Ranch. He smiles wildly and declares that he lived and worked there for many, many years.
It's a small world.
Three beautiful things have recently become clearer to me as I continue to live under the umbrella of this quaint sphere.
Comfort - We crave, long, and yearn for it! Yet, if we never split the cocoon and emerge from it we will never become what we were fully made for. We will remain a worm. Instead, if we leave our dwelling of comfort for just long enough our unstable legs will strengthen, our slippery wings will unfold, and our true self will finally be free to venture to places beyond.
Connection- There is something spiritual about connection. Each time I've had a small world experience an awesomeness overcomes me. It makes my uncertain surroundings feel more wholesome. Complete. I wonder the purposes for connecting with an American man deep in the African bush? Perhaps, it was a small gift offering from the One who see's, who brings things together, who connects.
Community- A people united. Community drives relationship and brings both comfort and connection back into full view. This is why were here. This is the meaning for our lives. Pastor Daniel from the orphanage I visited proclaimed over and over, "We all have different mother but same Father! We all have different mother but same Father!" To me, his words are the truth behind this tiny bubble we live in. Amen.
What would it look like if you stepped out of your world today? Who do you think you'd connect with? Go for it! Split the cocoon and allow the smallness of this world to impact you in a big way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)